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  • ✨ Never fear the shadows.
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    They simply mean there’s a light shining somewhere nearby
  • ✨ Never fear the shadows.
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They simply mean there’s a light shining somewhere nearby
  •  138  20 1 hour ago

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  • My new obsession 🌝
  • My new obsession 🌝
  •  156  2 3 hours ago
  • I've had an obsession with ice cream lately. Me and ice cream, we're like 🤞🤞🤞.
    I've always liked ice cream (of course, I mean, who doesn't??), but if I could choose I used to always prefer a candy bar.
    Now though, everything has changed!

    Since I started my recovery journey I've had sort of a weekly (or monthly) obsession. First it was cereal, then Reese's PB cups, then baked goods, then chips, and so on and so forth.
    I still always eat ALL THE THINGS. But I sort of zoom in on one thing a little extra. And currently it's ice cream!🍨🍦🍧 What's your favorite flavor??
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    #allfoodsfit #benandjerrys
  • I've had an obsession with ice cream lately. Me and ice cream, we're like 🤞🤞🤞.
I've always liked ice cream (of course, I mean, who doesn't??), but if I could choose I used to always prefer a candy bar.
Now though, everything has changed!

Since I started my recovery journey I've had sort of a weekly (or monthly) obsession. First it was cereal, then Reese's PB cups, then baked goods, then chips, and so on and so forth.
I still always eat ALL THE THINGS. But I sort of zoom in on one thing a little extra. And currently it's ice cream!🍨🍦🍧 What's your favorite flavor??
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#allfoodsfit #benandjerrys
  •  123  22 4 hours ago

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  • Endast sex år gammal satt jag naken i badkaret, stirrade på min mage och grät av förtvivlan då jag tyckte den var så stor att jag var helt säker på att jag var gravid. Det var första gången någonsin jag reflekterade över hur min kropp såg ut.
    Endast nio år gammal bönade jag och bad inför den enda personen jag då stod nära, min mentor, om att bli sjuk i anorexi. När hon ifrågasatte varför jag ville det svarade jag glatt ’då hade jag ju iallafall varit smal’.
    Siffran som vågen visade när jag var 8 år gammal och 136cm lång stod på vågen för bara två månader sedan. Vid en ålder av 16,5år och en längd på 171cm.
    Anorexin har styrt och ställt över mig så länge jag kan minnas. Det är ett helvete jag inte önskar någon och även om jag inte längre är så sjuk att mina ben inte bär mig, är jag fast i en rejält underviktig kropp och livrädd för att gå upp mer. Mitt psyke och kanske främst min kropp sätter så många käppar i hjulet för mig och min omgivning. För varje kilo jag gått upp har jag märkt hur mycket lättare jag gör min egen vardag, men jag är fullkomligt livrädd för att gå upp de sista tio kilon som hade behövts för att kunna kalla mig normalviktig igen. Och med en underviktig kropp kommer jag aldrig kunna fungera lika bra som jag gjort när jag varit vid en normalvikt.
    Tacksamheten över att jag faktiskt kan både gå och springa, bära en vattenhink, spänna en sadelgjord och fungera som en människa i vardagen igen är ofantligt stor. Men något som är ännu större är längtan efter att kunna fungera som människa fullt ut. Och idag kan jag tyvärr inte det, min sjukdom sätter stopp för mig.
    Orden ni ser i bakgrunden på första bilden har hängt med mig dagligen senaste halvåret. På sista bilden hittar ni hela texten. För mig har den varit jätteviktig och jag påminner mig flera gånger varje dag om att sätta mig ner i lugn och ro för att läsa igenom dem. ❤️
    #anorexia #anorexi #anorexianervosa #anorexiarecovery #anorexianervosarecovery #eatingdisorder #eatingdisorderrecovery #recovery #ätstörning #äs
  • Endast sex år gammal satt jag naken i badkaret, stirrade på min mage och grät av förtvivlan då jag tyckte den var så stor att jag var helt säker på att jag var gravid. Det var första gången någonsin jag reflekterade över hur min kropp såg ut.
Endast nio år gammal bönade jag och bad inför den enda personen jag då stod nära, min mentor, om att bli sjuk i anorexi. När hon ifrågasatte varför jag ville det svarade jag glatt ’då hade jag ju iallafall varit smal’.
Siffran som vågen visade när jag var 8 år gammal och 136cm lång stod på vågen för bara två månader sedan. Vid en ålder av 16,5år och en längd på 171cm.
Anorexin har styrt och ställt över mig så länge jag kan minnas. Det är ett helvete jag inte önskar någon och även om jag inte längre är så sjuk att mina ben inte bär mig, är jag fast i en rejält underviktig kropp och livrädd för att gå upp mer. Mitt psyke och kanske främst min kropp sätter så många käppar i hjulet för mig och min omgivning. För varje kilo jag gått upp har jag märkt hur mycket lättare jag gör min egen vardag, men jag är fullkomligt livrädd för att gå upp de sista tio kilon som hade behövts för att kunna kalla mig normalviktig igen. Och med en underviktig kropp kommer jag aldrig kunna fungera lika bra som jag gjort när jag varit vid en normalvikt. 
Tacksamheten över att jag faktiskt kan både gå och springa, bära en vattenhink, spänna en sadelgjord och fungera som en människa i vardagen igen är ofantligt stor. Men något som är ännu större är längtan efter att kunna fungera som människa fullt ut. Och idag kan jag tyvärr inte det, min sjukdom sätter stopp för mig.
Orden ni ser i bakgrunden på första bilden har hängt med mig dagligen senaste halvåret. På sista bilden hittar ni hela texten. För mig har den varit jätteviktig och jag påminner mig flera gånger varje dag om att sätta mig ner i lugn och ro för att läsa igenom dem. ❤️
#anorexia #anorexi #anorexianervosa #anorexiarecovery #anorexianervosarecovery #eatingdisorder #eatingdisorderrecovery #recovery #ätstörning #äs
  •  186  33 4 hours ago
  • Happy Valentine’s Day 😍😍❤️❤️ haha maybe I don’t have a breathing valentine but I don’t mind when I got ice cream in the fridge😂 What’s a better ice cream then Ben and Jerry’s Topped Love is... on a “lovely” day like this?😂
    🌵
    Really good ice cream actually! I love the chocolate part, even tho I wish it had more of it hihi. I liked it but most likely won’t buy it again😚 but you gotta try it until you can judge it💁‍♀️❤️
    🌵
    Started the day with a test today😴 then had a big written exercise in Swedish for the national test we will be having first week back in school, after being gone for 6 week 😵. Lucky last lesson got cancelled after everyone else in my class complain about it being useless haha😂 So now I will not have school for 6 whole weeks, kinda. I will be practicing at a daycare for 5 weeks🙈 I will be looking after the ages 1-3, will be fun😚❤️ Tomorrow will we go to a frozen yogurt place in “Hallarna” 😍👍 God night 🥰🌵
  • Happy Valentine’s Day 😍😍❤️❤️ haha maybe I don’t have a breathing valentine but I don’t mind when I got ice cream in the fridge😂 What’s a better ice cream then Ben and Jerry’s Topped Love is... on a “lovely” day like this?😂
🌵
Really good ice cream actually! I love the chocolate part, even tho I wish it had more of it hihi. I liked it but most likely won’t buy it again😚 but you gotta try it until you can judge it💁‍♀️❤️
🌵
Started the day with a test today😴 then had a big written exercise in Swedish for the national test we will be having first week back in school, after being gone for 6 week 😵. Lucky last lesson got cancelled after everyone else in my class complain about it being useless haha😂 So now I will not have school for 6 whole weeks, kinda. I will be practicing at a daycare for 5 weeks🙈 I will be looking after the ages 1-3, will be fun😚❤️ Tomorrow will we go to a frozen yogurt place in “Hallarna” 😍👍 God night 🥰🌵
  •  129  10 22 hours ago

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  • Happy valentine day ❤️
  • Happy valentine day ❤️
  •  44  3 23 hours ago
  • #snack on valentines day ❤️

    My friend handed these out at school and she made them herself, so I tried to take one and I ate it! I do have an extra hard time with chocolate but my friends were very supportive so I managed. I’m so lucky to have the friends that I had, and they got so happy when I did eat it 💛
  • #snack on valentines day ❤️
•
My friend handed these out at school and she made them herself, so I tried to take one and I ate it! I do have an extra hard time with chocolate but my friends were very supportive so I managed. I’m so lucky to have the friends that I had, and they got so happy when I did eat it 💛
  •  96  4 23 hours ago
  • The person on the left was scared. I didn't show it on the outside, but I lived in constant fear of losing my abs.
    I felt like a fraud, and I feared that people would finally discover the real me.
    I was scared that if I lost my definition, people wouldn't like me anymore, and they would think I was a failure.
    But most of all I feared myself. Who was I without my abs? Who was I without this fitness persona? And how much would I hate myself if I lost this “perfect body” that I had worked so hard for?

    And now that “the worst” has happened? I've finally realized that people around me don't love me because I have a fit body. There's so much more to me than being fit. And I have, for the first time in my life, gotten to know ME.
    Sure, there are days when I miss my #fitgirl body, but on those days I remind myself of the fear, and the shallow, narrow, close-minded world I was living in.

    And guess what?

    I am beautiful without abs.
    I am more confident than I ever was before. Because I truly love ME, the real me, the person that I am. Not the fake me, not just my body, not the me who could only be loved if she had abs.

    And guess what else?

    I get to eat ice cream everyday - if I want to.
    I get to say “no thank you” to vegetables - if I don't want them.
    I get to exercise because it makes me feel good - not because that's the only way I can feel good about myself.

    Have you experienced similar fears? What is your greatest fear right now?
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    #eatingdisorderrecovery #transformationthursday #reversetransformation
  • The person on the left was scared. I didn't show it on the outside, but I lived in constant fear of losing my abs.
I felt like a fraud, and I feared that people would finally discover the real me.
I was scared that if I lost my definition, people wouldn't like me anymore, and they would think I was a failure.
But most of all I feared myself. Who was I without my abs? Who was I without this fitness persona? And how much would I hate myself if I lost this “perfect body” that I had worked so hard for?

And now that “the worst” has happened? I've finally realized that people around me don't love me because I have a fit body. There's so much more to me than being fit. And I have, for the first time in my life, gotten to know ME. 
Sure, there are days when I miss my #fitgirl body, but on those days I remind myself of the fear, and the shallow, narrow, close-minded world I was living in.

And guess what?

I am beautiful without abs.
I am more confident than I ever was before. Because I truly love ME, the real me, the person that I am. Not the fake me, not just my body, not the me who could only be loved if she had abs.

And guess what else?

I get to eat ice cream everyday - if I want to.
I get to say “no thank you” to vegetables - if I don't want them.
I get to exercise because it makes me feel good - not because that's the only way I can feel good about myself.

Have you experienced similar fears? What is your greatest fear right now?
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#eatingdisorderrecovery #transformationthursday #reversetransformation
  •  163  32 14 February, 2019

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  • Bokmöteee 👯‍♂️👯‍♂️
  • Bokmöteee 👯‍♂️👯‍♂️
  •  418  1 14 February, 2019
  • 🇬🇧Short translation of the letter for my non swedish followers at the bottom👇🇬🇧 *
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    *
    I've been waiting for 5 months to recieve this letter, and today I finally got it. From times to times I've feared this moment and hoped that It would never come. Other days I've really wanted to recover but just couldn't do it on my own. But I wanted to get help, and I hoped that one day I would finally get treatment and fight this disorder once and for all💪

    Now I honestly don't know how to feel. I've started recovery on my own and with some help from the dietitan I met one time. But I'm just so scared. I'm scared to get help and recover for 100%. I'm scared to be denied the help and left alone with this illnes. And when I convince myself that recovery is worth it it makes me feel like I'm not sick enough to get help. Most of all I'm just so scared that they will weigh me and be like "eeh you're obviously faking it". Sorry for the messy rant, but there's just plenty of feelings and thoughts crossing my mind right now. *
    *
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    *
    🇬🇧
    "Welcome to the anorexia and bulimia unit. We recieved a referal from *doctors name* and you got an appointment with our specialist doctor next tuesday (!!!!!) Observe that this is just an assesment and not a start of treatment. And that it also involves getting weighed and mesured." 🇬🇧 #footd #ednos #edrecovery #atypicalanorexia #depression #anxiety #generalizedanxietydisorder #cptsd #ednosrecovery #anawho #foodlog #weightlossprogress #recoverywin #ätstörd #ätstörning #atypiskanorexi #äs #ätstörningsrecovery #ångest #mealplan #matschema #morethananumber #eatittobeatit #foodisfuel #strongnotskinny #falldown7getup8 #anorexia #anorexiarecovery
  • 🇬🇧Short translation of the letter for my non swedish followers at the bottom👇🇬🇧 *
*
*
I've been waiting for 5 months to recieve this letter, and today I finally got it. From times to times I've feared this moment and hoped that It would never come. Other days I've really wanted to recover but just couldn't do it on my own. But I wanted to get help, and I hoped that one day I would finally get treatment and fight this disorder once and for all💪

Now I honestly don't know how to feel. I've started recovery on my own and with some help from the dietitan I met one time. But I'm just so scared. I'm scared to get help and recover for 100%. I'm scared to be denied the help and left alone with this illnes. And when I convince myself that recovery is worth it it makes me feel like I'm not sick enough to get help. Most of all I'm just so scared that they will weigh me and be like "eeh you're obviously faking it". Sorry for the messy rant, but there's just plenty of feelings and thoughts crossing my mind right now. *
*
*
*
🇬🇧
"Welcome to the anorexia and bulimia unit. We recieved a referal from *doctors name* and you got an appointment with our specialist doctor next tuesday (!!!!!) Observe that this is just an assesment and not a start of treatment. And that it also involves getting weighed and mesured." 🇬🇧 #footd #ednos #edrecovery #atypicalanorexia #depression #anxiety #generalizedanxietydisorder #cptsd #ednosrecovery #anawho #foodlog #weightlossprogress #recoverywin #ätstörd #ätstörning #atypiskanorexi #äs #ätstörningsrecovery #ångest #mealplan #matschema #morethananumber #eatittobeatit #foodisfuel #strongnotskinny #falldown7getup8 #anorexia #anorexiarecovery
  •  26  0 14 February, 2019

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  • Back in the States!! And I'm clebrating that by eating some dark chocolate sea salt caramels from Costco. #costcoforthewin
  • Back in the States!! And I'm clebrating that by eating some dark chocolate sea salt caramels from Costco. #costcoforthewin ✌
  •  91  10 13 February, 2019
  • #breakfast this morning 🍓🌾🥝

    Just thought I’d pop in here to post and say that I’ve had a really nice day today! I’ve had two great singing lessons and between those I’ve had a good time with my friends and then in the evening I went to a place I haven’t gone to in such a long time and I’m so happy I went! 🐛
  • #breakfast this morning 🍓🌾🥝
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Just thought I’d pop in here to post and say that I’ve had a really nice day today! I’ve had two great singing lessons and between those I’ve had a good time with my friends and then in the evening I went to a place I haven’t gone to in such a long time and I’m so happy I went! 🐛
  •  90  3 13 February, 2019
  • Försökte mig på det här med att spontanfika ensam... det var väl inte direkt det enklaste jag gjort men efter någon timme var jag i mål 👯‍♂️ Vad har du gjort som du är stolt över idag? ❤️
  • Försökte mig på det här med att spontanfika ensam... det var väl inte direkt det enklaste jag gjort men efter någon timme var jag i mål 👯‍♂️ Vad har du gjort som du är stolt över idag? ❤️
  •  431  15 13 February, 2019