Latest #pinkonpink Posts
- horizontal with @lallabird Annie Lalla in Miami, Florida.
In episode 68. love is a gladiator sport: horizontal with the love coach I'd trust with my (love) life, Annie taught me a miraculous frame for resolving conflict with a lover. I put it into practice the very next day. It was like an unfamiliar emotional workout.
And it worked.
Annie: One of the things that just seems so obvious to me, is keeping physical touch as part of the conflict experience. My mom would wanna kinda pull away in a fight, but my Dad would just chase her. […] If you can stay physically in contact with your partner while you’re fighting, what it says to your animal […] is, I’m frustrated, I’m angry, but I love you, we’re safe, our lizards—
Lila: We’re not in danger.
Annie: Yeah because there’s a lizard brain, there’s the monkey brain, and the neocortex. And the lizard brain is in fight or flight. When you touch someone while you grumble, while you go “What the fuck!” your lizards are like, Okay, I can handle this. When I teach couples about how to resolve conflict, there’s this counter-intuitive developmental step that I try to show them— that we evolved from lizard to monkey to human. And when you resolve a conflict, you have to go in that order. Lizard: touch— have you ever tried to talk a crying baby down from crying?
Annie: It doesn’t work! You have to lift it up, and rock it. You sing, and you rock that baby, so its nervous system feels safe, then you’re supposed to get emotionally resonant with the child, or with your partner, [...] you’re not gonna talk about the issue yet. Because the two monkey brains have to feel a limbic resonance. So, you have to do some "Okay, let me get this straight, you’re upset, you’re frustrated; I’m feeling sad and scared" and just get a validation of the emotional states of each person, and then, from that Lizard safe, Monkey safe, now you have full cognitive resource to resolve the anatomy of the issue itself, with all your brain! […] Because if you don’t have your lizard in track and your monkey in track, you’re literally in fight or flight. [Become a patron & listen to the full conversation with this Love Goddess!]
15 hours ago
- I'm back! My whole little family was struck with the Flu this week, and that lead to an unintentional break from Instagram. I still have new posts up on the blog, and this little preview is from one of them! 🌸🌸 Did you guys ever think you'd catch me in distressed jeans like this? 🤪 I wasn't sure, but I love them! You can instantly shop this, and all my outfits, by clicking the link in my bio 👉🏻 http://liketk.it/2A40J @liketoknow.it #liketkit
18 hours ago
- “You don’t have to be blooming to be growing.” - @gracelaced
19 hours ago
- I’m the photo stylist for most of our clients, and it’s turned into a passion I didn’t even know I had.
I find it so satisfying when a shot is perfectly put together - Guess that makes sense since I would rewrite my notes in school until they looked perfect 🤷🏽♀️ Also, it’s kind of fun to see my hands all over Instagram now lol 🤗 - Next week I’ll be sharing a few things that I’ve learned so far about photo composition.
22 hours ago